To my seven pound, ten ounce baby girl, my angel sent from heaven. You were exactly that.
As you know your gran, my mum, passed away only four months before you were born. My first apology to you was that I never told her about you, I never told her that I was pregnant. Please NEVER think that it was because I was ashamed of you, I was proud of you from the moment I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. The truth is, I was scared. I had just turned 18 and that immature girl believed that if I told her, she would disown me. It would not have been the case. It took me until it was too late to realise that. Always try and be brave.
Your gran would have welcomed you into this world with open arms and maybe a few dodgy knitted cardigans along the way and if she had treated you the same as me, she would have got matching ones for you both to wear (yep, I have the pictures to prove it).
If anything good came from this situation, it would be that from an early age I have encouraged you to talk to me, to us. Don’t ever be scared to ask or tell me anything, or your dad for that matter. No situation is ever that bad that can’t be helped by a hug and reassurance. I’m pretty sure that you have listened to this advice but just incase you didn’t believe me, it’s now on the internet so it has to be true…
If I had to hand you a book on pregnancy, birth and the early years right now, it would describe your start in life perfectly. From being born on your due date (only 5 % are) you got to every milestone before you should have. You were our perfect, smiley, chubby bundle and our proudness of you has grown each day. As much as I tell you about your wonderful baby years, please don’t be lured into a false sense of security, not every baby is like that because along came your sister 3 and a half years later and proved that no two babies are ever the same. It’s the luck of the draw!
You were and still are the best big sister. The bond that you two have just makes me realise how crap it was being an only child. Your dad and I are both only children (well, were only children but let’s tell the story about dad’s Canadian family another day haha). We knew we wanted a sibling for you and it worked out better than we expected. I heard horror stories from people regarding new babies but you took your role as big sister very seriously, in fact, I could probably count on one hand how many times you have both had a serious argument.
You were and still are a quiet child. I do have to have a wee smile to myself when I drop you off with your friends at school each morning, your group of friends is exactly like mine when I was there! Your confidence is slowly growing too, we see you blossoming into this caring, mature young lady. Your amazing exam results this year (do I need to say it..yes I do. 5 A’s & 2 B’s) has given you confidence in your academic ability but I see you worrying about what to do about your future. No matter what the teachers say, I’m telling you that you don’t have to know right now. Follow your passion and if you haven’t found that yet then don’t worry, it will come. Some people do more than a couple of courses before they find what they truly want to do. You have your whole life ahead of you, don’t rush it.
I know the teenage years are rough, we are best friends one minute and the next day not so much but I’m still learning too. We’ve grown up together, you’ve taught me so much. Thank you for making my life as a teenage mum easy, for proving all the doubters wrong. I love you.
Love, Mum x