“They are off your hands now”. A phrase that I heard a handful of times last week as our daughters went back to school after their summer break. “You’ve got your life back” is another one. Shannon has gone into fifth year and Katie just started high school (that was a completely separate meltdown, from me, not her). I mean they are 15 and 11, hardly at the settling down and moving out stage!
Call me weird but as mums across facebook rejoice that YES, the holidays are over, I’m crying into their new pencil cases and dreading for the day to arrive. It’s been the same since they were both at school. Don’t get me wrong, of course, there’s days in the holidays where I lock myself in the bathroom, get into the bath with my music up and a large glass of wine in hand because they’ve wound each other and me up all day long but it doesn’t mean that come the end of the holidays I’m chucking them at their teachers.
I hate that their childhoods have gone so fast. It really did go in the blink of an eye. I look back on pictures of them a few years ago and I can hear their little squeaky voices shouting on me and the smell of them when they were freshly out the bath.
This is a picture I posted on facebook last week, the pose was not deliberate.
I feel like I spent their wee lives wishing it away, waiting for them to sit up, walk, talk and be a little more independent, then before I knew it, they are into the teenage stage and it’s scary how quickly that happened . There’s no pleasing us mums.
So no, I don’t want to have my life back, thanks. My family is my life, there’s nothing I’ll be able to get back that I can’t do now. Apart from maybe doing some more coastal holidays as our eldest is petrified of seagulls (Sorry, Shannon). I do love them at this stage too, they are shaping into young adults, their personalities are developing that little more and we’re getting a glimpse of the respectful adults they’ll be. They don’t want to blend in either, they both have their own style and I’m learning to love that.
So I am looking forward to the years ahead, to seeing what the future holds for them and when they are older, if they are blessed with being parents themselves, they’ll always be my babies.
Love, Tammy x